Two Sides of the Same Coin
by Behind Blue Eyes BBE
Summary: Set during the episode "Replacements," Toth's second blast of badness strikes Spike.  How will the Scoobies deal with a visitor from the past?  Will they be able to restore the obligate symbiotic relationship between monster and man before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

"The city dump—where smells go to relax and be themselves."

In spite of Buffy's usually attentive audience consisting of Giles, Willow, Xander, and Riley, her attempt at humor fell instantly flat. She hoped they'd foregone laughing due to the risk of further plaguing their noses with the overpoweringly foul stench, instead of her losing her touch. She would hate to think she was losing her quipyness.

"People say they're recycling. They're not recycling," Riley chided as the group continued forward through the center of mountains of rubble. Xander wordlessly commiserated with the larger, gloomy man by patting him on the shoulder.

"I found a spell so you can't smell anything, but it does it by taking your nose off, so ... no," Willow sighed heavily. She always tried seeing the brighter side of life by using a combination of light-hearted jokes and quick-fix ideas. Thankfully, they all still had their noses.

Buffy discreetly rolled her eyes at Riley's sanctimonious tone. Even though she agreed with iwhat/i he was saying, it was more ihow/i he sounded— all poster-boy-for-public-service-announcements-like.

All Riley needed now was to be standing before a backdrop of the stars and stripes waving in a non-existent breeze, warm apple pie, some fireworks, and the all-American picture would be complete.

The annoyance with her significant other had been happening more and more frequently lately. This wasn't the first time she feared her eyes were going to roll right out of her head at the sound of his voice.

The only thing Buffy was grateful for during this little mission was that Riley was the only irritating male present. Things could be worse—much, much worse. There happened to be one un-dead pest who was an even bigger thorn in her side. He was far more infuriating now than when he first swaggered into Sunnydale with a loony vampiress on his arm.

Each year, hell, each day, he topped the previous one in annoying the hell outta her. The problem was, after the Initiative had neutered him and he showed up on Giles' doorstep all begging and pathetic, she couldn't stake him. She was the Slayer, not a killer of harmless, iflaccid/i creatures.

But instead of his taking this as a free pass and leaving Sunnydale permanently, he decided to stay and become an ever-present, bigger pain-in-her-ass. Now, instead of biting and sucking the life from people, he used his mouth as another kind of weaponry—spewing forth verbal-diarrhea, slinging insults, and giving color commentary nobody wanted or asked for.

iOh and look, speaking of the bleached devil./i

"What are you doing here, Spike?" Riley snapped, trying to be threatening but failing miserably. Only the crossbow he brandished held any weight to his empty attempt at intimidation.

Spike stood to full height, holding up his finds. A small, battered lamp in one hand, and … is that a mannequin's arm in the other?

iI don't wanna know why he has a plastic arm. Clearly for evil, but otherwise, I'm so not going there./i

"Oh, there's a nice lady vampire who set up a charming tea room over the next pile of crap. What do you think I'm doing? I'm scavenging, ain't I?"

"Very pretty," Willow commented timidly. Spike nodded his thanks before turning and placing the arm in his shopping cart.

"Spike, um ... we're looking for a demon, um ... tall, robed, skin sort of hanging off, deep voice?"

Giles sounded hesitant asking Spike about seeing the new baddie of the week. She really couldn't blame him. The blond vamp made it very clear time and time again he was "bad" and hated each and every one of them. Add to that his being a soulless demon, and none of them should really trust anything that came out of his mouth.

"You mean a great, tall, robe-y thing like that one?"

Spike excitedly pointed behind the group. In spite of Buffy's thoughts only moments before, they all turned in sync to where he gestured. Now, standing before them, given Giles' earlier description, was Toth. All billowy cloak and wielding a stick.

Toth quickly demostrated it wasn't "just a stick," when a bright blast shot from the end and headed straight toward them. Luckily, they all ducked in time. The discharge hit a pile of garbage where they once stood, causing it to smolder. Toth bellowed an infuriated snarl after missing his intended target—Buffy.

"Take cover!" Riley yelled the obvious, as everyone scurried in opposite directions. While the scrambling Scoobies briefly distracted Toth, Buffy gave him a perfunctorily look-over for any signs of weaknesses. Besides obviously needing to majorly moisturize, she found nothing.

"Big guy! Kick her ass!" Buffy noticed from the corner of her eye Spike's arm raised in camaraderie for his fellow demon.

Almost on Spike's cue, Toth pointed his weapon and fired another magical blast at Buffy. Once again he missed, but this time he did strike someone—Spike. The blast landed in the middle of his chest, launching him backward into a pile of garbage.

While five pairs of eyes intently watched Spike, nobody noticed Toth escaping. It wasn't until Buffy turned toward where he—it—used to be, in preparation for another strike. It was then she noticed Toth was gone.

Completely annoyed, Buffy shook her head and kicked an aluminum can in her path, launching it into the air. The thin metal made a faint iclanking/i sound when it finally landed on a mountain of garbage in the distance.

"Can I just say, I really hate it when they attack all willy-nilly and leave. They don't even have the common courtesy to stick around and get their butts handed to them like a demons threatening to kill the Slayer should!"

"Well, I'm glad nobody got hurt," Riley stated, wrapping his arm around Buffy's shoulders and placing a chaste kiss to the top of her head.

Without a response, Buffy moved away and clearly missed Riley's passing look of hurt from her brush-off, as she approached the rest of the group.

"Yes, I agree with you, Riley. May I say, this was certainly a time when we should be grateful a foe had limited resources when he attacked. As we originally theorized, his staff, indeed, holds all his power. I believe in order for Buffy to defeat Toth, we should do more research about his weapon."

After addressing the group, Giles turned and proceeded toward the exit, Xander, Buffy, and Riley following behind. After several steps, Buffy became aware that not everyone was leaving. She stopped, turned, and witnessed Willow staring down at Spike's motionless body. Xander, Giles, and Riley soon followed suit.

"Hey, Wills, you going to join us for some research goodness?"

Willow's gaze moved from Spike to Buffy. She instantly recognized the look of regret filling Willow's features and cringed knowing what her friend was about to say.

"Willow, please don't say what I think your going—"

"Buffy, we can't just leave him here," Willow urged compassionately.

"—to say. Willow, he'll be fine. Spike will be annoying the populous in no time. I bet you anything he's pretending to be hurt, just to laugh later that he tricked you into being all concerned about him. Since he's bitey-no-bite, aggravating us to no end is the only way he can reach his evil quota for the week."

Appearing unaffected by Buffy's words, Willow stayed put. The longer Spike stayed motionless, the more Willow's expression of concern grew.

"Buffy, you of all people know how impatient Spike is. He wouldn't be able to lie still this long. Even if he was planning to do "evil." Willow used her fingers to emphasized "evil" with air quotes. "Plus, he didn't come here to bother us. He was only here to gather things for his new place. Spike getting struck by Toth's blast of badness was kinda our fault."

Unable to ignore her best friend's imploring gaze, Buffy sighed heavily while stomping back toward Willow and Spike, whining to Giles along the way.

"Giles, please tell Willow that isaving/i vampires is not in the Slayer's handbook."

"Buffy, I assure you, despite my feelings or lack thereof for Spike, he does seem to warrant our assistance. Willow is correct in saying he was injured due to our drawing Toth to the part of the facility where Spike was rummaging for um, supplies."

"Have the toxic fumes in this place made all of you lose touch with reality? Giles, I would've never thought in a million years that you, of all people, would care what happens to a vampire, especially Spike!" Buffy pointed at the still motionless vamp, her incredulous gaze landing on her Watcher.

"Buffy, I completely agree with you. Spike should've been dusted a long time ago," Riley stated firmly.

"Thanks, Riley. At least your mind isn't affected by the funk. So Xander, you've been awfully quiet over there. What's your take on this?" Buffy turned to her unusually silent friend. Typically, numerous opinions would have already been heard from him in regard to Spike, yet he hadn't said a word.

"I hate to admit it, Buff, but Willow's right. The poor guy was just here looking for some stuff and got blasted for his troubles. Now, don't mistake what I'm saying. Seeing Spike getting knocked on his butt into a big pile of trash is too funny. Like I wish I had a video camera to win some money type of funny. It's just, if he doesn't wake up before the sun comes, he'll end up fitting into a dustpan all because we brought Mr. Fruit-roll-up-face here. If that happens, well, it's kinda not right." Buffy's and Xander's mutual gaze remained locked, until he sheepishly looked away following his last sentence.

"Fine, fine, it's three against two. I guess I have to help iSpike/i."

With disdain unmistakably lacing her voice, Buffy handed Xander her battle labrys before approaching Spike. Buffy looked at the vamp in question as she stood over him. iReally/i looked at him.

His face was slack, not a hint of his classic smirk in sight. His trademark leather was curled around his legs, but flared open at his chest, where Buffy noticed a large charred mark in the dead center. Strangely, his chest was rising and falling in slow measured movements.

iHuh, he looks like a real person. All breathing and stuff./i

Unexpectedly, Buffy realized she was staring a lot longer than she should. Even more surprisingly, she noticed how truly attractive he was. She never realized this before. Well, that's not true. There was one time, but she chalked that up to Willow's iMy Will to Be Done/i spell.

While sitting on Spike's lap as they made wedding plans, he held her possessively, yet tenderly. It was then Buffy found out firsthand he had a lithe and muscular body under all that black and leather. She always knew he was a well-honed weapon by the way he'd fought, and all that icloseness/i totally confirmed it.

Also, with this closeness, she had a chance to study and memorize all his striking features: his bluer-than-blue eyes framed by impossibly long lashes, model-enviable cheekbones, and a regal nose. iAnd let's not forget those full-kissable lips…/i But before Buffy's treacherous thoughts could continue down that road, Willow's voice brought her back to the here and now.

"Um, Buffy, how are you planning on waking him up?"

Willow was taken back by Buffy staring at Spike. At first, she thought Buffy was debating as to how she could deal with Spike without actually touching him.

However, in addition to the length of time she continued to stare, what really caught Willow's attention was the way Buffy's gaze roamed over his body. It was more of a, "Hey, nice bum. Where ya from?" kinda of way, and less than the look of disgust Buffy tried to currently express.

"Uh? Oh, yeah, I was just thinking of a way of waking him with minimal touching. Yup, no touching of Spike is of the good."

Despite Buffy's words, her tone didn't support them. With Riley standing only a few feet away, Willow didn't question her friend's actions, but filed her inquires away for later.

Stepping closer, Buffy stuck out her leg and nudged Spike with the tip of her boot. "Spike…hey Spike…get up." Buffy prodded him again and held up her hands in defeat.

"Wills, he's really ok. I don't think he—" When Buffy looked up and noticed Willow's firm, set features silently indicating she hadn't tried hard enough, so Buffy finally relented.

With a huff, Buffy squatted down and after a few false starts, poked his leather-clad shoulder with her index finger. After two more finger-stabs and calling his name, she pulled her hand away and rubbed said finger rapidly across her pant leg.

Ignoring her best friend's childish behavior, Willow became increasingly worried about Spike. "Buffy, I don't think he's going to wake up. Maybe we should bring him somewhere. You know, a place where the sun won't be."

Willow decided to take matters into her own hands, and squatted on the other side of Spike. She could tell Buffy clearly wanted to argue with the "Saving Spike" plan, but remarkably she kept her opinions to a low grumbling under her breath.

With a final murmur, Buffy grimaced as she leaned forward and wrapped her hand around Spike's wrist and pulled. With a harsh tug, Buffy abruptly raised only her side of Spike's body, causing his head to snap back in Willow's direction.

Willow let out a gasp and quickly leaned over to help Buffy, by wrapping a protective arm around Spike's back. She felt slightly nervous with a vampire, albeit an unconscious neutered one, this close to her neck. Especially, since this was Spike's third time there, and despite what they say, three times are inot/i necessarily a charm!

In a joint effort—well, Buffy's more than Willow's due to her supernatural strength—they managed to get Spike into a sitting position. Willow watched Buffy eyeing Riley. Finally, he seemed to recognize Buffy's if-looks-could-kill expression and came over to replace Willow on the opposite side of Spike.

Together, Buffy and Riley maneuvered Spike into a fully up-right position. They draped Spike's arms around each of their shoulders and held his wrists while their other arms were wrapped around Spike's back to further anchor him in between them.

Once they secured the unconscious vamp, they started forward. While they walked slowly, Spike's head slumped forward, with his chin resting on his chest while his feet dragged behind them. The pair wasn't able to make it very far before Buffy stopped, causing Riley to do the same.

"Riley, I'm having a hard time keeping up. Every two or three of my steps, equals one of yours."

Willow watched anger flash across Riley's features before it quickly disappeared. Clearly Riley was not happy about them, especially Buffy, helping Spike. Willow believed since Buffy hadn't commented, she apparently missed Riley's fleeting reaction.

Despite the mask of impassiveness he now wore, Willow knew Riley hadn't calmed down. This was clear when she witnessed Riley roughly tightening his grip around Spike's wrist. Although Riley was only human and he couldn't exactly hurt Spike, Willow felt the need to intercede before anything bad, such as Riley dusting Spike, happened.

"Xander, why don't you help Buffy? You're closer in height and—"

"Wills, say no more. The Xan-man is here to save the day."

Xander handed Giles Buffy's labrys, before stepping forward and taking Riley's place. When Riley finally relinquished his hold, Xander noticeably sank under Spike's weight.

"Gah! Talk about dead weight! I didn't know bleach and Billy Idol's leftovers weighed so much!" Xander gasped before Buffy shifted and took more of Spike's weight on her side.

As the group slowly made their way toward the exit, none of them was aware of a pair of feral, golden eyes hungrily watching their departure.

**Author's Notes:**

Big thanks to Sanityfair and Diebirchen my betas

Some of the dialog comes from the episode, "The Replacements," written by Jane Espenson. The rest is solely from my twisted mind.

"The labrys is a double-headed axe that was used by ancient women as either a sacred ceremonial object, formidable weapon, or agricultural tool. It represents female strength, rebirth, and fertility. Only women carried the labrys." If you want to read more, go here: ..


	2. Chapter 2

Upon awakening, he was met with an instant, dull, throbbing pain in his head. He was truly vexed due to being unable to recall what had transpired prior to cause such a discomfort. Hearing murmurs beyond the dreadful throbbing, he focused and overheard overlapping remarks coming from all around him.

"Hey, I think Mister Freeloading vamp is finally waking up."

"It's about time!"

"I second that, Xander."

"Giles, do you think he'll need some blood to, um, help him recover?"

"Willow, contrary to one's belief, I am not running a Bed and Breakfast for vampires."

From what he gathered there were three men and two women. Four of whom spoke in a rather strange vernacular. Coincidentally, one somewhat older man possessed an accent similar to his own. That, in itself, was reassuring. However, what plagued him was the manner in which this older man addressed the young lady. Rather informally and, he might add, quite scandalously, by using only her first name.

Before slowly opening his eyes, he steadied himself with several deep breaths and swallowed back the bile threatening to rise from his roiling stomach.

Looming above him, he noticed five blurry figures of varying heights. He suddenly felt anxious and promptly righted himself into a sitting position. He tried focusing on those before him without squinting, as he addressed them.

"Ah, how do you do? Please pardon me if my actions appear anything less than grateful for your hospitality, but how is it I have come to be here, and where is here exactly?"

Due to his blurred vision, he missed the incredulous looks shared and passed between those standing before him.

"Um, we brought you to Giles' after you were hit by Toth's beam of badness." One of the women, the one who appeared to possess the darker hair of the two, responded.

"Thank you, Miss. May I inquire is Mister Giles among us? I would like to thank him properly."

"I am."

The same cultured voice from earlier sounded to his right. He tried to stand. However, after several failed attempts, he resigned himself to remaining in his seat.

"Please pardon my manners, Mister Giles, but it appears I have been slightly incapacitated by Mister Toth's attack." He outstretched his hand and continued; "I extend my sincerest gratitude for graciously sharing your home during my recovery from injury."

He noticed one blurry figure step forward and eventually take his hand.

"Um, yes, you're welcome." With a firm shake, Mister Giles released his grip and moved back to his previous position.

"Oh my, how terribly rude of me to not properly introduce myself. My name is Mister Pratt, Mister William Pratt, and might I be so bold as to ask the names of my rescuers?"

There was a moment of silence before a volley of queries ensued. William tried focusing and following where each came from, but it remained quite difficult, due to his compromised vision, the rapidity, and overlapping arrangement of their words.

"Huh?"

"Why is he talking all Giles-y?"

"Who's William Pratt?"

Thankfully, Mister Giles, who William assumed was the leader of the group, finally spoke. His authoritative voice silenced the others.

"Um, Mister Pratt, may I ask, from where do you currently hail?"

"London, of course."

William heard murmurs from the group before Mr. Giles continued, "And pray tell, what year is it?"

"Mister Giles, I assume you are a physician and these queries are to attest to my memory as well as my sanity. I am well aware it is the tenth of October, the year of our Lord, eighteen seventy-nine."

Following his response, William heard further muttered words and noticed the group moving off to his right. William felt on edge instantly.

Due to etiquette, he kept his eyes trained forward. However, even if he felt compelled to go against decorum and turn to look, his failed eyesight wouldn't allow him to see much. Furthermore, even though it was clearly rude, he wasn't able to overhear their discussion. William speculated from the intensity and hasty nature of their whispering that they were most likely debating his condition.

William feared they believed he had answered Mister Giles' questions in an unseemly manner, and this ultimately sealed his fate. He heard stories of those deemed mad. They never returned home and spent the rest of their lives "patients" of Bedlam.

_Dear God, if this is what is to become of me, what is to become of Mother?_

William broke from his racing thoughts and fears when he heard a firm declaration he believed to have been spoken by the fair-haired woman.

"Giles, I don't believe you're listening to this crap!"

Breaking from the group, she approached and now stood before William. Even with his compromised eyesight and despite his limited time with the fairer sex, he believed she was quite cross with him.

"Look Spike, this undead English patient routine is getting really old, really quick."

William, if possible, became even more confused. He knew it wasn't proper to argue, nor was it his nature to be confrontational, yet he felt the need to clarify.

"Miss, I do not know of this _Spike_ of whom you speak nor why you believe I am he, but I assure you, I am William Pratt of the London Pratts. Also, if I may be so bold, I am a man of reputable upbringing and would never adopt a ruffian's moniker such as Spike."

"What?"

"I think he said he's not Spike."

"Thanks, Willow, for translating, but I said "What?" because I don't believe a word he just said, not 'cause I didn't understand. Come on people. If it looks like Spike, smells like Spike, and sounds…well, he doesn't sound like Spike, but two outa three ain't bad. So clearly, it's Spike!"

William watched speechlessly as the fair-haired woman gestured angrily toward him. Thankfully, Mister Giles interceded before she continued.

"Buffy, it is true, this is Spike. However, I believe he may be suffering from some sort of amnesia, and his mind is resorting back to his pre-vampiric days."

"So Giles, the spell Toth cast, it's kinda like Ethan's Halloween dress in stick form?"

"Not exactly, Willow. Ethan prayed to Janus, the Roman God of beginnings and transitions, or for Ethan's purposes, the God of chaos. He used the costumes as conduits to affect those who wore them when he'd cast the spell. Those wearing the costumes truly believed they were what their costumes represented. This is different. For all intents and purposes, Spike believes he is who he was before he was turned: William Pratt."

"So Toth went after Buffy planning for her to forget she was the Slayer and for her to think she was pre-Slayer Buffy?"

"That may be a reasonable explanation, Riley. However, I still believe we need to do more research to know for certain."

William listened intensely to the group's discussion. Even though he disagreed wholeheartedly with what Mister Giles claimed, that he and this Spike were one and the same, he decided to withhold his opinions for the moment. He had already spoken out once against Miss Buffy, who appeared to be a prominent, well-respected woman of a clearly influential group. It was wise not to anger her further by speaking out again.

"So in the mean time, what do we do with…him?"

"Well, and I don't believe I'm suggesting this, I feel in this state he is ill-equipped to return to his crypt. Spi—um, William shall remain here until we are able to reverse Toth's spell."

William felt relieved Mister Giles told Miss Buffy that he would be staying there until he recovered. Even though he heard several grumbled responses from the others, once again he felt extremely indebted to Mister Giles. Otherwise, it appeared he would have been turned out into the streets if it were left up to some of the other members of the group.

With the matter concluded, he blurrily watched the group disburse before feeling the couch cushions beside him reposition. Turning, he noticed the dark-haired woman sitting quite close to him. Since this was the first time the opposite sex tried engaging him in conversation, William felt his heart racing from her nearness.

"Sp—I mean William, how are you feeling? I know a lot has happened. Don't worry; we'll figure it out and you'll be, well, yourself again in no time."

"You're very kind, Miss—um, if you don't mind, might I inquire what your name is?"

"Oh, Willow. Call me Willow. Sometimes you call me Red, but Willow's good."

"Thank you, Miss Willow. I assure you I will remain quiet as a church mouse and let your group aid me in anyway you deem fit. I do not want to be the cause of any further imposition."

"Oh, no, no problems at all. In the meantime, um, is there anything I could do for you?"

"I, well, I wonder Miss Willow, did you happen upon my spectacles? I am having a dreadful time seeing and—"

"You wear glasses?"

"Yes, I have since my early childhood."

"Huh. No, I'm sorry, I didn't see your glasses. Oh! Maybe you could borrow a pair from Giles. I know they won't be the same prescription but hopefully they'll work."

"That would be wonderful. Thank you, Miss Willow."

William watched her blurry image stand from the couch and approach Mister Giles, Miss Buffy, and the two other men, one of which he believed to be named Mister Riley.

While he waited patiently, Mister Giles left the room and returned moments later. He then noticed Miss Willow taking the proffered item and approaching him.

"Here, try these."

William reached out, taking the glasses. He slid them on, adjusting them behind his ears and the bridge of his nose. Once in place, he looked through the lenses and was amazed at how close Mister Giles' prescription was to his own. When his eyes finally adjusted, he raised his gaze to Miss Willow.

He immediately noticed she was quite lovely, with short auburn hair, porcelain skin, and large and expressive green eyes. Trying to be inconspicuous, he lowered his gaze.

He became completely taken back by her attire. She wore a thin, orange shirt made of a strange fabric that clung to her slight form. William tried not to gawk nor blush at how highly inappropriate, bordering on scandalous, her dress was. His gaze lowering further, he almost gasped at the sight: she wore trousers!

William turned and observed the other's clothing as well. They, including Mister Giles to a lesser degree, lacked proper civilized dress.

Considering the possibilities, William believed perhaps Mister Giles might be involved with the Colonial Missionary Society. Graciously, he had taken in these wayward immigrants to teach them he tenents of Christianity and the proper discretion and etiquette of Victorian society. This would explain their outlandish dress, mannerisms, and speech. They must be from another country, but from which one, he was uncertain.

William continued regarding the others until the fair-haired woman, Miss Buffy, moved into his line of sight. At that moment, William was lost. She possessed a radiant beauty the like with which none other could hope to equal. Her loveliness even far surpassed that of the Underwoods' eldest daughter, Cecily.

Miss Buffy was blessed with delicate features, a slightly up-turned nose, full bee-stung lips, and green eyes burning with an unbridled passion. Her long blond hair flowed in waves over her shoulders. She was petite in stature; however, she gave off an extraordinary presence, rivaling and surpassing that of any man.

Instantly, William's entire being reacted to her beauty. His mind raced with lines of poetry while his body expressed his longing with a notable tightness in his trousers.

Greatly ashamed of his uncouth reaction to Miss Buffy, William vowed to rein in his baser desires, just as a proper Victorian gentleman must. A chaste and lovely woman such as Miss Buffy should never be subjected to any man's vulgar needs.

Despite his firm declaration, when Miss Buffy spoke, William could not take his eyes away from her unsurpassed exquisiteness.

"Giles, if you don't mind, Riley and I are going to head out. There's not much we can do with Sp…, um, here. I'm going to head home and rest up. Tomorrow, I'm Toth hunting."

"Ah, yes, good idea, Buffy. I believe even if we are unable to locate the spell Toth used, if you are able to obtain his weapon, we would be able to know exactly what we are dealing with."

"Or better yet, kill him, and this stops any spells he cast, right?"

William's gaze moved from Miss Buffy to Mister Riley, who had just spoken. He was shocked to see how Miss Buffy allowed Mister Riley to touch her about the waist. Obviously, despite Miss Buffy's strong convictions, she must fear this man, and so must the others, since they were allowing him to hold her in such a disrespectful manner.

In addition, what was of even more concern was that not a soul responded negatively to Mister Riley's threatening to kill Mister Toth. Clearly, this rogue did not deserve the exquisite Miss Buffy. William took an instant disliking to this brutish, disagreeable man.

"Buffy, I will see you in the morning, so we can review what our research uncovered."

"Okay, see you in the morning Giles. Wills, I'll catch up with you at the dorms. Oh, have fun, guys!"

William watched Miss Buffy and Mister Riley leave, while Mister Giles, Miss Willow, and the other young man, began diligently reviewing the numerous books spread out before them.

While they chatted among themselves, William took in his surroundings. Dozens of books lined the walls, and the furnishings, even though they appeared strange, felt welcoming.

Once he gave the room a preliminary perusal, William's thoughts returned to Miss Buffy. He felt his earlier reactions returning tenfold. William feared the others would see his look of longing and, even more daunting, notice his body's traitorous reaction. It was of the highest priority to gain self-control. With deep breaths, he lowered his head and focused on his folded hands in an attempt to attain a level of calm.

With his head bowed, William immediately noticed something quite odd concerning his hands. He unfurled and splayed his fingers to view them the better. Why were his fingernails blackened with lacquer?

Perplexed, William extended his gaze. He wore all black, almost as if in mourning. Compelled to see more, he stood and further inspected himself. He wore a black leather trench-coat, an improperly formfitting shirt, and trousers, both made of strange fabrics. In complete shock, William felt the room spinning and collapsed on the couch behind him.

"Oh, dear Lord," he muttered before everything went black.

**Author's Notes:**

**Big thanks Sanityfair and Diebirchen**

**October 10th was the date when "Replacements" originally aired. This was in 2000, not 1879…of course!**

**Bethlam's Royal Hospital, also known as Bedlam: ****.org/wiki/Bethlem_Royal_Hospital**** "a psychiatric hospital located in London, United Kingdom and part of the South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust. Although no longer based at its original location, it is recognised as the world's first and oldest institution to specialise in mental illnesses" **

**Colonial Missionary Society: ****.org/wiki/Missionary#The_British_missionary_societies****  
>Overall, people would go abroad and at home and would try to convert people to Christianity and try to teach them to be a "respectable member of society."<strong>

***peeking through fingers* So, whatcha think?**


	3. Chapter 3

Buffy felt completely out of sorts. It was like she'd entered into some sort of alternative reality, and now everything was just plain wrong.

This weird trip to the flip side all started with Spike. How did him getting blasted and playing dead, well—more dead, suddenly become the Scooby's or more specifically, her problem?

Even though she'd never _actually_ read the Slayer's handbook, she knew there wasn't anything in there saying _saving_ vamps, especially annoying bleached ones, was part of her sacred duty. Yet, tonight she was out voted to do just that.

What bugged her even more was when did eyeing Spike with anything besides absolute disgust and loathing become an option? True, without the distraction of his mouth flapping a mile a minute, she was able to really get a good look at him, but why did that mean her thoughts had to go _there_?

Then there was Riley. While heading back to the dorms, she started feeling like everything was returning to normal. Well, as normal as Sunnydale could be. They were talking, and she was hoping for some "alone time" with him, of which there hadn't been a lot between Dracula's thrall and Dawn's kidnapping.

Then again, she should've known normal wasn't in the cards. It was Tuesday after all.

The very minute they walked though the door her plans of mass seduction were squelched. It all started with the phone ringing and a frantic Willow on the other end saying Spike had passed out, and they couldn't wake him.

Next, a discussion that soon turned into a heated argument with Riley, regarding how he felt she hadn't made enough time for him lately. This was followed by her adamant denial. Then the whole mess ended with them parting ways, with her heading over to Giles' and Riley back to his apartment.

This brought her to the here and now, with a stress-filled Buffy stomping down the darkened streets of Sunnydale, wishing for a vamp with delusions of grandeur to happen by. Since she couldn't relieve her tension the fun way, a little slayage would suffice.

When she arrived at Giles', still wound tighter than a snare drum after a fight-less walk, she stormed in without knocking. Her voice matching her brash entrance.

"Okay, this better be good! I'm really not so happy about missing alone time with Riley—for _him_!"

Within three strides Buffy hovered over Spike's prone, unconscious form, eyeing him with clear disdain.

Giles looked up from his book and studied his Slayer following her whirlwind arrival.

"Ah, Buffy. Welcome back. I assure you, I told Willow to leave William. With all that transpired tonight, he must've been quite overwhelmed. So much so, William um…reacted."

"Reacted?" Buffy features scrunched with slight confusion.

"He got all swooney and passed out, the big girl!" Xander snickered before returning to pilfering Giles' cabinets for a late night snack.

"So let me get this straight. You interrupted what little time I have alone with my boyfriend 'cause Spike fainted?" Buffy's gaze shifted and zeroed in on Willow, who sat in a chair positioned close to Spike.

"Buffy, I tried everything! I even heated up some blood Giles had left over in the freezer and nothing!" Willow's pleading expression soon affected Buffy.

It was way beyond her why they wouldn't want the bleached pest quiet and out of the way. However, despite the irritation boiling up inside, like the good little Slayer she was, she relented, but not before heaving a weary sigh.

"Well, since my night is totally shot, I'll help with research. The sooner we find out what Mister Badly-in-need-of-heavy-moisturizing did to Spike. The sooner we can undo it, the better." 

Buffy awoke gradually. Her gaze hazily focused on dozens of tiny smudges lying just beyond the tip of her nose. Feeling slightly disjointed, she blinked to clear her vision. Before long she realized she was up close and personal with one of Giles' old books.

Lifting her face from the worn page, she sat up slowly and stretched. She savored the popping of slightly stiffened joints and the gentle pulling of her once idle muscles. Buffy eyed the book with distaste as she rubbed her cheek.

_Great! With my luck I probably have nasty, old ink all over my face._

Buffy looked around Giles' apartment and soon realized she was alone. Her study buddies were nowhere in sight. Even Giles had pulled a David Copperfield. Grumbling, she stood to make her way to the bathroom to freshen up. Sliding out from behind the desk, she spied a note lying above her makeshift pillow.

_Buffy,__  
><em>_  
><em>_I had class this morning and Xander had to finish a job at the construction site. Giles will be back after checking out some books about Toth he has at the Magic Box. Please take care of __Spike__ William until he gets back. Oh, and we really need to talk, Missy!__  
><em>_  
><em>_Willow_

"Hey! The only way 'Not It' works is if everyone is awake when it's done! What, they think I have nothing better to do than babysit Mister Amnesia all day?"

Buffy mumbled while crumbling the note into a small ball before shooting it in a nearby waste paper basket. When the shot went wide, Buffy continued grumbling as she picked it up. While leaning over to grab the offending paper off the floor, she noticed Spike still sleeping on the couch.

He looked so peaceful with a tartan blanket tucked around him and gathered up under his chin. His hair was a riot of unruly curls. Buffy suddenly felt the strange urge to rake her fingers through them to see if they were as soft as they looked.

Lost in her stare-fest, Buffy startled when he drowsily shifted into a sitting position and raised his arms over his head. While he stretched he let out a lengthy, deep sound resembling a growl.

Only moments earlier, he looked so harmless and docile. _Almost human._ Then when he moved, the blanket lowered and her thoughts instantly changed. With the blackness of his tee contrasting against pale skin and the distinctive growl, he now appeared to be the epitome of what he truly was—a lithe and deadly predator.

Although Buffy never admitted this before: in his dangerousness lay exquisite beauty. A beauty even a Slayer could not ignore and was strangely, faintly drawn to.

Still admiring him, Buffy was caught unaware when she was met with a pair of perceptive blue eyes. Even before she and Spike became locked in this bizarre truce, Buffy felt he always knew what she was thinking or feeling without a single word.

She broke from her thoughts when she heard a familiar, yet unfamiliar voice coming from Spike—William's.

"Please, pardon me. I must've fallen asleep. I had such a peculiar dream. I dreamt I wasn't myself and wore the strangest clothing and…" William looked down at his chest and gasped.

"Oh, dear…it wasn't a nightmare! I…I…"

Buffy watched William's eyes losing focus. She stepped forward to try to calm him down so he didn't faint…again.

"Hey, breathe…breathe. That's right—in and out…in and out. Keep doing that while I go and get a paper bag so you don't go all black-outy again."

She rushed into the kitchen and started rummaging through Giles' cabinets in search of a paper bag. After the fourth cabinet she stopped, realizing the absurdity of it all.

_Hello, slayer 101! Vampires don't breathe! That's why they don't faint_!

Despite knowing this, Buffy felt the need to do something since she could still hear him breathing heavily.

_Water! In the movies water solves everything! From someone delivering a baby, to calming upset people, they all go with water_!

Buffy quickly filled a tumbler and rounded the dividing wall heading over to the couch. As she handed him the glass, thankfully he appeared to have calmed down some. She was so glad she wouldn't have to explain to Giles why Spike was still passed out when he came back.

He nodded his thanks and with a slightly shaky hand, brought the glass to his lips. After several small sips, he took a deep, settling breath before looking up at her.

"Thank you, Miss Buffy."

Buffy sat on the chair near the couch. She didn't speak until he appeared for the most part relaxed.

"So what got you all stiff-legged goat?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"I once watched this show on The Discovery Channel or maybe it was Animal Planet. Well, whichever station it was, there were these goats that when they got all scared they fainted. It was pretty funny seeing these things running around one minute, and the next they looked like they were playing freeze-tag!"

When Buffy finished her explanation and after a few giggles, she looked over to him, and he appeared even more confused.

After her random ranting, Buffy had nothing else to say. It was weird; she never had a hard time thinking of things to say to Spike before. She always had a threat or insult at the ready. Yet, seeing him so unnerved, she didn't feel right poking fun.

_Huh? When did making fun of Spike ever become a thing not to do? Maybe when he's not Spike, but William. I guess this adds another reason to the ever-growing list of confusing things when dealing with…whoever he is._

Buffy's eyes darted around the room looking for something to talk about to fill the awkward silence between them. She noticed his borrowed pair of glasses on the coffee table. Without a word, she handed them to him. With a soft "Thank you, Miss Buffy," he slid them on and his gaze returned to hers.

Before things could get even more awkward, Buffy stood and headed over to the desk. Trying to keep busy, she started turning the pages of her temporary pillow-book. Even though she'd been over it, what felt like a dozen times, she needed something to focus on besides the memory-deficient blond.

After reading a passage for the fourth time about Lethe's Bramble and magically induced amnesia, Buffy welcomed William's interruption.

"Pardon me, Miss Buffy?"

Looking up from the tiny print, she saw a still visibly uncomfortable William.

"Yeah?"

"Yes, might I inquire when will Mister Giles be returning?"

"I don't know. He's checking out a mountain of moldy books at the Magic Box. Your guess is as good as mine."

"Do you believe Mister Giles would be offended if I utilized the services of his valet without permission?"

"His valet? He doesn't have anyone parking the Giles-mobile. Plus, why do you need his car?"

"Car? I am not familiar with that terminology referring to a valet's duties. I merely needed his valet's services to tend to a more um, private matter."

Buffy studied William. She noticed the puzzled look on his face now mirrored how she felt. Since she was alone in taking care of Mister Bourne Identity, Buffy knew she had to figure out what was wrong. Closing the book, she headed over to the couch.

"Well, it's just you and me, William. Despite how I so don't want to know what this 'private matter' is, I have to ask what's the what before Giles comes back and chews me out for being a bad vamp sitter."

Buffy watched William furrow his brow giving him an almost Bert uni-brow look. Before she could ask, "What?" he took the lead.

"Miss Buffy, please pardon my words, as they may be misconstrued as disrespectful. However, I am regretfully unable to decipher yours and their meanings, and that in turn makes it difficult to respond."

"Huh? Oh, sorry. I forgot you understand only Watcher-talk. Well, okay, I can do this. I'm the Slayer, and I have a Watcher, so…"

Buffy started pacing and softly talking to herself while trying to figure out a way to explain. Stopping abruptly, she felt William watching her. Without him saying a word, she could tell she was further confusing him. She wouldn't be surprised if he bypassed confusion and decided to crown her Miss Crazy-Girl USA.

"Well, since we're lost in translation here, let's KISS." When William's eyes widened, Buffy tried to explain quickly, "Ya know, **K**eep **I**t **S**imple **S**tupid. Oh wait! I'm not saying you're stupid, or I'm stupid. It's only…never mind. Okay, let's try this again. Here's the deal. Let's just talk. No more big Watcher-words on your part and no more pop-culture references on mine. Deal?"

"Deal, Miss Buffy."

"Okay, in five words or less, tell me what you need."

Buffy watched William becoming instantly flustered. He started shifting uncomfortably as his prominent Adam's apple bobbed hard with each swallow, and his skin took on a faint pinkish hue. _Was he blushing_.

"I have need of a privy, please."

"Huh? You what the what?"

"The privy."

"Yeah, I heard you the first time. I'm just not too fluent with Briticisms. Oh, I know! Describe what a privy is, and I'll try to figure it out. Ya know like charades. Well, charades with words. So I guess it's not really charades, but you know what I mean."

"I am afraid for the most part, I do not. However, it is of the utmost importance we understand one another, so I will attempt to explain."

Buffy waited for William to begin. She watched him start and stop several times, yet he still hadn't spoken. His features and demeanor displayed how difficult for whatever reason, this was for him.

It was strange. Not too long ago, Buffy would've reveled in Spike's discomfort and silence. Yet, with him looking so _William-ish_: with the glasses, curly hair, and rigid body language, he tugged at her heartstrings, and she actually felt sorta bad he was having such a hard time.

"Look, I get you're being all Mister Respectful, and that's really cool and far better than your usual death threats and sexual innuendos, but if I'm going to understand, you just need to spit it out."

"Spit…it…out?"

"Yeah, explain and I'll go from there, okay?"

William took a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly when he finally spoke, his voice a mere whisper.

"I need to urinate."

"Now, that wasn't too hard, now wa…what? Wait, did you just say you have to go to the bathroom?"

His eyes opened slowly. Buffy believed in addition to major embarrassment, there was a hint of relief settling in those blues.

"If the bathroom is a place where one needs to visit to relieve oneself then yes."

"Huh. I don't know why you have to go in there. It's not like you really need to you know, go. You know what? I so don't need to know why. Just go ahead, you know where it is."

With a slight nod, William slid the blanket off his lap and stood. Buffy watched as he rounded the couch and started walking.

She noticed instantly his usually swagger was gone, replaced by a reserved, almost timid pace. While lost in thought, Buffy almost missed William heading toward and now opening Giles' front door.

_He's heading outside, into direct sunlight. With no blanket!_

Without a second thought, Buffy rushed to the slightly ajar door and slammed it closed.

"Where are you going? Geez, you would've thought self-preservation trumped memory loss!"

With her palms remaining firmly pressed against the wood, Buffy tried catching her breath. While doing so she struggled to convince herself she was panting from rushing and definitely not from the scare he just gave her. Once she got her breathing under control, she looked over to William.

If she didn't know better, he looked scared. Even though that emotion didn't seem at home on Spike's face, it didn't matter. She finally accepted the truth. He really wasn't Spike, but William.

"Hey, I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you. It's, well, you can't go outside. You're a…forget it…that's not important right now. Let's leave it at you can't go outside during the day."

"I understand. Even though this is all terribly confusing, I trust you have my best interest at heart, Miss Buffy. If I may be so bold. Be as it may that I am unable to venture outside, my immediate and pressing issue still remains."

"What…oh, _that_. I don't even know why you were going outside anyway. The bathroom is down the hall."

"Mister Giles' privy is not located at the furthest end of his garden, but in his home? Well, that is quite interesting."

"Yeah, so, um let me show you where…"

Not finishing her sentence, Buffy turned and started walking down the hallway with William dutifully following. When they reached the bathroom, Buffy pushed opened the door, stepped inside, and flicked on the light.

That's when things went from weird to totally bizarre. One minute she's standing there. The next she was being pulled out of the room and tackled to the ground with William sprawled out on top of her.

Despite her face being pressed into the floor, Buffy's aggravated tone was loud and unmistakable.

"What the hell are you doing!"

William quickly lifted up, and off of her, stood then extended his hand to help her up.

Buffy ignored his hand and stood on her own, brushing away nonexistent dirt from her clothes. Before she could further give him a tongue lashing for becoming a human, well a demon, blanket, William spoke. His tone was uncharacteristically strong and assured.

"Miss Buffy, I truly regret my rash behavior. However, I feared the bright light was an explosion of some kind. At that very moment I experienced an overwhelming sense of duty to keep you safe, despite my very own well-being and proper etiquette. I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies."

Buffy was taken aback by his words. True, she hated when the men in her life treated her with kid gloves. Yet, somehow this was different. This was done more to be chivalrous and protective. Totally not in a I-know-what's-best-for-you-cause-I'm-the-man kind of way, she'd experienced in the past.

Above all this, what really tamed her inner shrew was the concerned and apologetic expression conveyed through his heart-felt expression. She recalled him giving her this same look when they bickered over their exes during their brief magically induced engagement. It was this _look_ that instantly deflated any anger surging inside her then as well as now.

"Oh, well, thanks. No worries. That wasn't an explosion though. I only turned on the lights."

She stepped inside the bathroom and gestured to the brass sconces mounted on either side of the mirror. William hesitantly entered the room, remaining close to the doorway, and slowly took in his surroundings.

"Miss Buffy, this is utterly wondrous!"

He studied the lights from a distance with the look of total amazement. He held the same look as a child on Christmas morning.

Becoming bolder, William cautiously reached for the light switch. With a nod of 'go ahead' from Buffy, he flicked it off. They were only in the dark momentarily before he turned it back on.

On and off, on and off, William continued until Buffy was getting a slight headache from the simulated strobe lights. When the light came on for what she felt like the twentieth time, Buffy gently placed her hand over his.

"All right, enough _Saturday Night Fever_ for one bathroom trip. I'm going to step out so you can um, do your business."

Buffy turned to leave but stopped when hearing William's bashful voice.

"Um, Miss Buffy, where do I…"

"You don't know where you…?" With a resigned shake of his head, Buffy sighed softly and walked over to the toilet.

"Okay, you do your business, well, in _there_ and then you flush."

To demonstrate, she pushed down the lever. William leaned forward, his eyes widening from the _swooshing_ sound and the water swirling in the bowl. Once again, the look of amazement returned and brightened his face.

"Absolutely brilliant!" William reached for the handle, but Buffy stopped him by blocking the lever with her hand.

"Yeah, unlike the lights you can't keep flushing. The porcelain gods will be none to happy if you do, and you'll end up flooding the place. Just wait till after you…you know."

Not staying for the "show," Buffy turned and left the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She made her way to the couch and plopped down on the cushions feeling absolutely exhausted.

If trying to explain something as simple as a trip to the bathroom was this complicated, how will explaining he's actually a Master vampire and it's the year 2000, go?

_Yeah, that's all Giles. I had to deal with potty training a vamp. He can handle the self-rediscovery stuff._

Lost in her thoughts, Buffy didn't realize William was standing there until she heard him speak.

"Um, Miss Buffy, has Mister Giles returned?"

Buffy felt her nerves slightly grating with this question. She didn't mean to become irritated, but hearing this question again reminded her of the times when you're on a car trip from hell and there's always that one person constantly asking, "Are we there yet?"

She took a deep, steady breath and looked up at him. In contrast to the bleached hair and Spike's typical attire, William's presence clearly radiated a shy, timid man who was completely out of his element.

"What's wrong, William?"

"Um, I rather feel the nature of this subject is one that ought not be discussed with a lady."

"Well, Giles never left an ETA. So this leaves you with three choices: wait for him to come back, figure it out yourself, or ask me. You choose."

Buffy could tell William was struggling with his decision. While waiting, she noticed him shifting and pressing his thighs together. So even though he was clearly embarrassed, what his mind believed that his body had to do ultimately made the decision for him.

"Yes, well, before I explain my predicament, please understand my words are not intended to sully your virtuous nature or sensibilities."

"Yup, got it. You're not trying to be all pervy. Go ahead, say it."

"It seems I am having a difficulty releasing my trousers. In addition to the peculiar and constricting manner of the fabric, there is an unfamiliar mechanism binding them together."

While William talked his head remained bowed in apparent shyness. Buffy struggled to hear him.

_Did he just say what I think he said_?

In spite of her mind buzzing with dozens of questions, all she could manage was, "Huh?"

"Please, pardon my crudeness, but it would be more effective if I show you." Without further warning, William pulled aside the denim flap covering his zipper.

"See here. Now, I believe this metal rivet is a button. I am quite familiar with them and their workings. However, where my bewilderment lies is with this strange metal fastening."

Buffy knew she should look away. Yet, almost like a train wreck, she couldn't. Her mind went totally blank, as her eyes fixed on this 'strange metal fastening,' or more specifically the clearly bulging area trapped behind said fastening.

The sound of the door opening broke the staring contest Buffy had with William's impressive zipper region. It was as though Giles' voice was a starting gun. Upon hearing it, Buffy stood and headed over to the desk, hurriedly collecting her few belongings.

Buffy made a point to stay focused on her task and not to look at the male she was just ogling. She was far too embarrassed to meet William's gaze, even though she felt his eyes now trained on her.

"Buffy, William? Ah, I see you're both awake. Fortunately, I have secured numerous books about Toth and his choice of weaponry. Hopefully, we will be—"

"Yeah, that _we_ will only be you and William. I've gotta go. There's lots of studying and um, studying to do. So bye."

Buffy slid on her jacket and pocketed her possessions. Before heading out, she turned toward Giles.

"Oh and _you_ need to show William how to work a zipper." Without waiting for a response, she closed the door soundly behind her. 

**Author's Notes:**

**Thank you to my betas: Sanityfair and Diebirchen**

**Stiffed leg goat or fainting goats are a type of goats: "whose muscles freeze for roughly 10 seconds when the goat is startled. Though painless, this generally results in the animal collapsing on its side…When startled, younger goats will stiffen and fall over. Older goats learn to spread their legs or lean against something when startled, and often they continue to run about in an awkward, stiff-legged shuffle."**

**A valet is "a man's male servant who performs personal services (as taking care of clothing)" ****/dictionary/valet****. Also, as you know, they park cars—so Buffy wasn't wrong either. **

**If you haven't been able to suss out, a privy is a bathroom. Before indoor plumbing, the privy or aka outhouse, was located near the garden. I guess when you use cow poop for fertilizer, it trumps the smell of human excrement. **

**The zipper, as we know them today, was not introduced until 1913. There were a few false starts before then, but it didn't really gain popularity until 1913.**

**It's cool how past inconveniences of a zipper-less society made this chapter! Also, you learn something new everyday!**

**ETA=estimated time of arrival**

**Please let me know whatcha thought!******


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